you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
