lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
