All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
