Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
