My sheets look like a crime scene.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize