Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
