She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
