btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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