I want to walk on stilts...naked
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
