Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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