Jerry, you need to find god
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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