That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
