Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I think about you every night.

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry.

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  (281): I think about you every night. (1-281): I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/c1b1
  Replies (14) Good night (708) Bad night (2219)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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  (484): New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport http://tfl.nu/5bf4
  Replies (40) Good night (4017) Bad night (539)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god

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  (304): Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god http://tfl.nu/7ezr
  Replies (21) Good night (6322) Bad night (779)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life

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  (713): jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life http://tfl.nu/bfvb
  Replies (27) Good night (4541) Bad night (1160)
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  (845): View more from New York

  The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.

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  (845): The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor. http://tfl.nu/klg7
  Replies (5) Good night (3890) Bad night (1425)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.

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  (813): We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again. http://tfl.nu/6j6o
  Replies (43) Good night (2494) Bad night (4973)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.

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  (859): He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends. http://tfl.nu/6utj
  Replies (11) Good night (1408) Bad night (2880)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.

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  (937): Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault. http://tfl.nu/6aqr
  Replies (11) Good night (2446) Bad night (1595)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.

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  (303): Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good. http://tfl.nu/f0em
  Replies (7) Good night (2942) Bad night (1075)
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  (650): View more from California

  Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy

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  (650): Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy http://tfl.nu/o3ew
  Replies (8) Good night (1031) Bad night (2869)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"

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  (519): My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade" http://tfl.nu/3niq
  Replies (16) Good night (3688) Bad night (794)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.

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  (206): What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again? (425): Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing. http://tfl.nu/l4cd
  Replies (11) Good night (4637) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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  (708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75
  Replies (6) Good night (1216) Bad night (618)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.

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  (517): Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win. http://tfl.nu/fots
  Replies (2) Good night (695) Bad night (301)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.

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  (314): Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree. http://tfl.nu/qbkd
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (137)

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