What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.