Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.

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  (301): Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/igis
  Replies (6) Good night (1389) Bad night (466)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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  (410): He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success http://tfl.nu/9mnw
  Replies (2) Good night (670) Bad night (1022)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1034) Bad night (3676)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.

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  (610): i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub. http://tfl.nu/fmmx
  Replies (33) Good night (1433) Bad night (5954)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3250) Bad night (1217)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?

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  (602): Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again? http://tfl.nu/01x5
  Replies (5) Good night (3362) Bad night (1196)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???

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  (347): Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord??? http://tfl.nu/3v54
  Replies (15) Good night (2520) Bad night (1064)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car

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  (250): Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car http://tfl.nu/u2fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2224) Bad night (501)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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  (314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix
  Replies (6) Good night (1260) Bad night (1294)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you found the shrooms didnt you

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  (484): how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time (215): you found the shrooms didnt you http://tfl.nu/rmts
  Replies (7) Good night (4267) Bad night (686)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

  (206): View more from Washington

  The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

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  (425): You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy. (206): The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!! http://tfl.nu/5bns
  Replies (8) Good night (1787) Bad night (660)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

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  (423): and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that http://tfl.nu/i7hu
  Replies (10) Good night (978) Bad night (644)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.

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  (757): No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance. http://tfl.nu/6tt7
  Replies (0) Good night (737) Bad night (263)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?

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  (573): Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do? http://tfl.nu/m41p
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (343)
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  (619): View more from California

  She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.

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  (619): She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it. http://tfl.nu/d8em
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (208)

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