Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I still have a little drunk in my system
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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