I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.