i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
