I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.