so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
