I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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