Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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