my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
