he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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