I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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