the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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