Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
