and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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