I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize