The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
