Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
