people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
