Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Houston, we have a blender
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize