seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
