Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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