idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
