who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize