Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize