if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
