youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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