this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
