I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
