Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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