vagina is talking i cant
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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