i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
