ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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