I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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