I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
