just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
