its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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