so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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