Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
