apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that