There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"