I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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