Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.