If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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