ADVERTISEMENT

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  i permit you to call me

  Fav 4 1356 835

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch

  Fav 26 944 7199

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night

  Fav 5 4875 1002

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You make your fellow Jews happy.

  Fav 16 6745 1424

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

  Fav 17 7983 1552

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?

  Fav 14 4543 1498

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

  Fav 10 857 2620

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

  Fav 1 1006 1252

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.

  Fav 1 1600 747

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.

  Fav 9 882 1544

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  Sounds legit to me.

  Fav 3 879 538

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"

  Fav 1 995 864

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.

  Fav 0 168 207

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.

  Fav 4 75 30

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  Do it. It’s a noble position.

  Fav 0 40 15

  share tweet
  

Randomize