That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
