Where is the hickey?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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