Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
