you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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