i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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