They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize