I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
