Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize