This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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