I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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