What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
