The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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