Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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